Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Title Unknown
I have read some blogs today, I've surfed some sites. I've been cleaning my office, rearranging my books and trying to get some back on the shelf after a collapse. I was hoping to have that done today, but there are some books not on a shelf, and the broken shelf is still worrysome. My wife has suggested that after 7 years I can probably get a new bookshelf (two of the shelves, including the broken one, are shelves I brought with me that were mine all the way back in high school, so those shelves are closer to 20 years old).
I feel a little blah today. Maybe because yesterday ended up being a little disappointing. It is not my wife's fault but she was called into work for an emergancy and that left things hanging for me. Really since then I have been a little down. I could probably make a decision to do things to make myself feel better but I have not. It easier to advise people that to act on things yourself.
I have set myself a deadline for work that is probably going to be pushing things, and I wonder if that is why I haven't already set up the meeting. It is not flowing together quickly as somethings in my life do, so this vision statement adjusting/wording/tinkering team has not met yet. Our objective is to be done before summer. I think I ought to get everyone together for a meeting where we are not expecting something magical to happen, just a meeting to look at and discuss the vision as we know it and get used to each other. In a second meeting we can think of acheiving our goal of writing a statement to reflect this vision. We will see.
I need a shower. I just ran around with a bunch of soccer kids. Everytime I come home after I just feel itchy and covered in pollen. I either want to scratch till it bleeds or have a shower and see how that feels. I better shower.
I feel a little blah today. Maybe because yesterday ended up being a little disappointing. It is not my wife's fault but she was called into work for an emergancy and that left things hanging for me. Really since then I have been a little down. I could probably make a decision to do things to make myself feel better but I have not. It easier to advise people that to act on things yourself.
I have set myself a deadline for work that is probably going to be pushing things, and I wonder if that is why I haven't already set up the meeting. It is not flowing together quickly as somethings in my life do, so this vision statement adjusting/wording/tinkering team has not met yet. Our objective is to be done before summer. I think I ought to get everyone together for a meeting where we are not expecting something magical to happen, just a meeting to look at and discuss the vision as we know it and get used to each other. In a second meeting we can think of acheiving our goal of writing a statement to reflect this vision. We will see.
I need a shower. I just ran around with a bunch of soccer kids. Everytime I come home after I just feel itchy and covered in pollen. I either want to scratch till it bleeds or have a shower and see how that feels. I better shower.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Safe Place
I thought I would post part of the sermon from yesterday. I was amazed and inspired by the story and the places it took me and I would like to share some of that with anyone who will read it.
-----
Caught. Your shame, your secret desires, you at your worst laid bare for all to see. Public humiliation, public scorn, huge red letters seared into you forehead for all to see - SINNER.
This woman is bought to Jesus, caught cheating, caught in the arms of a man who is not her husband, or fiancée. She is dragged out with only what covering she could grab. Naked body, but worse is the naked soul.
Caught, judged, and sentenced all at once. It's not like she has any arguments to present, any defense that can absolve her of guilt. She's caught, guilty and she knows it. She may have found ways and reasons to justify her actions in the dark recesses of her mind, but in the light of day she sees her sin clearly. Dragged before Jesus, she stands waiting, wishing they would just finish, just kill her and get it over with, all this waiting, all this shame feels worse than death.
I have had my moments, my scenes of utter humiliation. In those moments the fragment replays in your mind leaving you wishing you could undo, leaving you longing to change just that moment and make a better choice, a different choice.
But again I find myself on the other side of the stone. I am ready to cast it. It is natural to us, instinct. We are told, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but we do. Clothes don't make a man, but they sure influence how we perceive him. It is far easier to look people who have sinned, people who have done things that we have not and shake our head. We accuse. We condemn. We feel bad that they would do such things.
There are a lot of things in my life that I haven’t done. I can look at people and say the Dr. Phil line, “What we you thinking!” I can sarcastically ask “How’s that working for you?” I can shake my head and label them in my mind so that I always recognize that this sin, this problem is forever a part of their life.
1. The Woman
This story shows us humanity at its lowest, and Jesus at his best. We come before God, pointing fingers, accusing, tattling as if God is unaware, like a parent in another room.
3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"
This woman was not just having sex outside of marriage, that would be called fornication, or some word like that, no she was either married, or promised to be married, both official covenants, official contracts. This woman was breaking a commitment made before God. She was guilty, but not alone in her guilt. The saying says it takes two to tango, but the other is not found here. I wonder if he was part of the crowd, or was he friends with some of the leaders, a convenient way to dispose of an unwanted mistress. Whatever the case he was not present as the law would also demand his death. She was not only on display, her shame for all to see at the temple, but she was alone.
2. The Writing
When they come to Jesus, he stoops down and starts to write. Many people speculate about what Jesus may have been writing, but as I was reading about this I discovered what I had not heard before. Jesus wrote with his finger in the sand. There have been other times that the finger of God wrote in stone, the Ten Commandments. Whatever else we are supposed to learn from this passage, we are supposed to remember the whole law, not just whatever parts are convenient at this moment.
A second thing that I read that moved me was about the empathy of Jesus. One writer says, “Jesus was seized with an intolerable sense of shame. He could not meet the eye of the crowd, or of the accusers, and perhaps at that moment least of all of the woman …” As I read this I pictured Jesus with his eyes brimming with tears, but also knowing that no one here would understand. Jesus understands people in such a complete godly way and yet expresses the feelings for them in such a human way.
Whatever he was writing, whatever the reason for ignoring the crowd, Jesus was acting out of the love that God had for each person there, the accusers, the woman, the onlookers.
3. The Response
Jesus seemed to initially ignore them, but they would not be ignored. This was a trap that had to be sprung. It was here that they had Jesus, friend to sinners trapped between his concern for the outsider and the law, also trapped between the Law of Moses and the Roman authorities who would not allow the Jews to carry out capital punishment themselves. The trap had to be sprung.
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus says, “You’re right, according to the law she deserves death, who else here does? You’re right she has sinned before God, what about you? You’re right she has done some horrible things, what about you? Are you really any different?”
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus says,
(Matthew 5)
“21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.”
“27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Who is righteous enough to be the judge? She deserved punishment. I deserve punishment. She stood with her sins there for all to see. I hide mine pretty good. I fake normal very well, but I am just as naked before God, and in just as much need of forgiveness.
4. Forgiveness
So often when I hear the forgiveness offered here, I wonder about it. It seems like she got off too easy. A child receives spankings, groundings, or time-outs, but she got advice.
Then again, she had already come face to face with the possible effects of her sin, she had already faced the judgment and was about to die for what she had done. She had no reason to believe that she would survive this ordeal, this trial.
The passage ends …
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11 "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
I find it interesting that after all these people have left, in what was probably a slow process, the woman didn’t leave. By this time the attention would not have been on her anymore. All that people saw was that each person next to them was leaving. Each person there was recognizing his own lacking before God. No one was thinking about the woman anymore. By the end of the passage I find a sense of safety, of security. There is something about the presence of Jesus in this scene that is accepting of who the woman is while still calling her to become. It is in the presence of Jesus that we are safe to bloom, to open up and blossom.
I wonder if this is the kind of challenge before us as a church. What kind of people can come here, who is accepted? Do you have to be good to be welcome or can this be the kind of place that accepts people, warts and all and still provides that boost to grow.
I think that the key to finding this acceptance is to see ourselves in the other person, to recognize our own struggles and weaknesses in them. We are not that different. One traveling preacher a contemporary of John Wesley would say when he saw a man being taken to prison, “There but for the grace of God go I.” If it were not for God’s grace, I would be in that same boat.
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11 "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Amazing love, now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree.
As grace flows down and covers me.
We find ourselves naked in the presence of God, but his grace covers us.
-----
Caught. Your shame, your secret desires, you at your worst laid bare for all to see. Public humiliation, public scorn, huge red letters seared into you forehead for all to see - SINNER.
This woman is bought to Jesus, caught cheating, caught in the arms of a man who is not her husband, or fiancée. She is dragged out with only what covering she could grab. Naked body, but worse is the naked soul.
Caught, judged, and sentenced all at once. It's not like she has any arguments to present, any defense that can absolve her of guilt. She's caught, guilty and she knows it. She may have found ways and reasons to justify her actions in the dark recesses of her mind, but in the light of day she sees her sin clearly. Dragged before Jesus, she stands waiting, wishing they would just finish, just kill her and get it over with, all this waiting, all this shame feels worse than death.
I have had my moments, my scenes of utter humiliation. In those moments the fragment replays in your mind leaving you wishing you could undo, leaving you longing to change just that moment and make a better choice, a different choice.
But again I find myself on the other side of the stone. I am ready to cast it. It is natural to us, instinct. We are told, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but we do. Clothes don't make a man, but they sure influence how we perceive him. It is far easier to look people who have sinned, people who have done things that we have not and shake our head. We accuse. We condemn. We feel bad that they would do such things.
There are a lot of things in my life that I haven’t done. I can look at people and say the Dr. Phil line, “What we you thinking!” I can sarcastically ask “How’s that working for you?” I can shake my head and label them in my mind so that I always recognize that this sin, this problem is forever a part of their life.
1. The Woman
This story shows us humanity at its lowest, and Jesus at his best. We come before God, pointing fingers, accusing, tattling as if God is unaware, like a parent in another room.
3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"
This woman was not just having sex outside of marriage, that would be called fornication, or some word like that, no she was either married, or promised to be married, both official covenants, official contracts. This woman was breaking a commitment made before God. She was guilty, but not alone in her guilt. The saying says it takes two to tango, but the other is not found here. I wonder if he was part of the crowd, or was he friends with some of the leaders, a convenient way to dispose of an unwanted mistress. Whatever the case he was not present as the law would also demand his death. She was not only on display, her shame for all to see at the temple, but she was alone.
2. The Writing
When they come to Jesus, he stoops down and starts to write. Many people speculate about what Jesus may have been writing, but as I was reading about this I discovered what I had not heard before. Jesus wrote with his finger in the sand. There have been other times that the finger of God wrote in stone, the Ten Commandments. Whatever else we are supposed to learn from this passage, we are supposed to remember the whole law, not just whatever parts are convenient at this moment.
A second thing that I read that moved me was about the empathy of Jesus. One writer says, “Jesus was seized with an intolerable sense of shame. He could not meet the eye of the crowd, or of the accusers, and perhaps at that moment least of all of the woman …” As I read this I pictured Jesus with his eyes brimming with tears, but also knowing that no one here would understand. Jesus understands people in such a complete godly way and yet expresses the feelings for them in such a human way.
Whatever he was writing, whatever the reason for ignoring the crowd, Jesus was acting out of the love that God had for each person there, the accusers, the woman, the onlookers.
3. The Response
Jesus seemed to initially ignore them, but they would not be ignored. This was a trap that had to be sprung. It was here that they had Jesus, friend to sinners trapped between his concern for the outsider and the law, also trapped between the Law of Moses and the Roman authorities who would not allow the Jews to carry out capital punishment themselves. The trap had to be sprung.
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus says, “You’re right, according to the law she deserves death, who else here does? You’re right she has sinned before God, what about you? You’re right she has done some horrible things, what about you? Are you really any different?”
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus says,
(Matthew 5)
“21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.”
“27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Who is righteous enough to be the judge? She deserved punishment. I deserve punishment. She stood with her sins there for all to see. I hide mine pretty good. I fake normal very well, but I am just as naked before God, and in just as much need of forgiveness.
4. Forgiveness
So often when I hear the forgiveness offered here, I wonder about it. It seems like she got off too easy. A child receives spankings, groundings, or time-outs, but she got advice.
Then again, she had already come face to face with the possible effects of her sin, she had already faced the judgment and was about to die for what she had done. She had no reason to believe that she would survive this ordeal, this trial.
The passage ends …
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11 "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
I find it interesting that after all these people have left, in what was probably a slow process, the woman didn’t leave. By this time the attention would not have been on her anymore. All that people saw was that each person next to them was leaving. Each person there was recognizing his own lacking before God. No one was thinking about the woman anymore. By the end of the passage I find a sense of safety, of security. There is something about the presence of Jesus in this scene that is accepting of who the woman is while still calling her to become. It is in the presence of Jesus that we are safe to bloom, to open up and blossom.
I wonder if this is the kind of challenge before us as a church. What kind of people can come here, who is accepted? Do you have to be good to be welcome or can this be the kind of place that accepts people, warts and all and still provides that boost to grow.
I think that the key to finding this acceptance is to see ourselves in the other person, to recognize our own struggles and weaknesses in them. We are not that different. One traveling preacher a contemporary of John Wesley would say when he saw a man being taken to prison, “There but for the grace of God go I.” If it were not for God’s grace, I would be in that same boat.
10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11 "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Amazing love, now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree.
As grace flows down and covers me.
We find ourselves naked in the presence of God, but his grace covers us.
Friday, May 27, 2005
A Crazy Day
Yesterday was certainly a crazy day. It started with me waking up looking at the clock and thinking how glad I was that it was Saturday. A few minutes later I realized that it was not Saturday and I had to get up and get my older son off to school.
Achieving that, I got my wife off to work, fed my other son and started the day. Somehow I got a lot of cleaning done. I am not sure what worked, but something did. Maybe it was a pile up of work over the week that finally showed itself in the completed project yesterday. Maybe it was that the boys room got it's cleaning for the month and that just makes everything cleaner. Whatever happened I felt better about most of the house (one room is getting worse as I get the other rooms together). The bedroom and bathroom still need work, but I have today. I think I might move some furniture and start playing with the set up of the living room.
At some point I have to start with the rest of my work of getting ready for the weekend. I am excited about the new discovery of what my laptop can do, but disappointed that I cannot use it this Sunday. Maybe we will find an extra couple of thousand somewhere for a good projector that I can then play with for the services.
Tonight will be fun with hockey and then a movie. Last night I watched the Waterboy, and tonight I watch another Adam Sandler football movie. This should be a fun night.
Achieving that, I got my wife off to work, fed my other son and started the day. Somehow I got a lot of cleaning done. I am not sure what worked, but something did. Maybe it was a pile up of work over the week that finally showed itself in the completed project yesterday. Maybe it was that the boys room got it's cleaning for the month and that just makes everything cleaner. Whatever happened I felt better about most of the house (one room is getting worse as I get the other rooms together). The bedroom and bathroom still need work, but I have today. I think I might move some furniture and start playing with the set up of the living room.
At some point I have to start with the rest of my work of getting ready for the weekend. I am excited about the new discovery of what my laptop can do, but disappointed that I cannot use it this Sunday. Maybe we will find an extra couple of thousand somewhere for a good projector that I can then play with for the services.
Tonight will be fun with hockey and then a movie. Last night I watched the Waterboy, and tonight I watch another Adam Sandler football movie. This should be a fun night.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Thinking about work
At times it is harder to post than other times, but for me these harder times is not when there is a lot going on, or I feel like there is nothing to post. The times I don't want to post the most (hey, that has a certain ring to it) is when I am thinking things that I don't want to share with others.
One of those thoughts that I am working through is about my work. I have been reluctant to post on this, to actually express some of the thoughts, but since I discussed it with some friends already I guess I can widen that circle.
Many parts of my job have been a struggle lately. There are things I avoid doing until the last minute (some of that is normal for me, some is simply avoidance), and then there are things that don't get done. There are things that I do, but they just drain me (not in a good way). There are still some aspects that I enjoy, but they do not seem to give me the energy to continue through the things I don't enjoy.
For a while I have been looking into schooling to get a Masters in Counseling, but the program that I dream about entering is not available here, and seems to be too demanding to do by distance education. The best case senario right now would require 2 years away from here to complete it. There are other programs that would require less time away, but they are different in content.
At one point I applied to many different part time jobs around town here, and I am still considering the idea. I have not had bites on any of those application (no call backs) which makes it hard to see yourself as employable.
I guess I will continue to look and consider the future, or maybe I will finally just go get my 1A licence and hit the road.
One of those thoughts that I am working through is about my work. I have been reluctant to post on this, to actually express some of the thoughts, but since I discussed it with some friends already I guess I can widen that circle.
Many parts of my job have been a struggle lately. There are things I avoid doing until the last minute (some of that is normal for me, some is simply avoidance), and then there are things that don't get done. There are things that I do, but they just drain me (not in a good way). There are still some aspects that I enjoy, but they do not seem to give me the energy to continue through the things I don't enjoy.
For a while I have been looking into schooling to get a Masters in Counseling, but the program that I dream about entering is not available here, and seems to be too demanding to do by distance education. The best case senario right now would require 2 years away from here to complete it. There are other programs that would require less time away, but they are different in content.
At one point I applied to many different part time jobs around town here, and I am still considering the idea. I have not had bites on any of those application (no call backs) which makes it hard to see yourself as employable.
I guess I will continue to look and consider the future, or maybe I will finally just go get my 1A licence and hit the road.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Preparation
Our family prepares for a quick trip to visit the in-laws and see my wife's pregnant sister as she meets us there. This morning I have to finish packing, clean the car, pack the car, remember all the odds and ends.
Meanwhile I am also making sure that everything is ready for Sunday. Programs are now copied, most of the songs are picked. I still have one song to put on overhead, but we will see. Maybe I'll have to send it to someone, I typed it up last thing before going to bed this morning. I have already printed off the sermon I plan to preach (a repeat of one that I have done here but tweeked for a different time and a different location.
Last night we were a bit too busy to prepare. We had soccer, then small group and my wife and I finished the day with a quick viewing of Revenge of the Sith. I came away feeling more disappointed than before. The other movies all felt different than this one. I think I was expecting something else. Maybe part of what I wanted was to see Darth hunt down more of the Jedi. I think I just wanted more story, not for it to end where it did. I think I enjoyed the movie, but something feels off. Maybe it was as Ebert suggest and the actors were just a little flat plaing in front of a blue screen, but I hope that when I see it again sometime, that it will be more enjoyable. I will see it again sometime, even if that is just on DVD.
Meanwhile I am also making sure that everything is ready for Sunday. Programs are now copied, most of the songs are picked. I still have one song to put on overhead, but we will see. Maybe I'll have to send it to someone, I typed it up last thing before going to bed this morning. I have already printed off the sermon I plan to preach (a repeat of one that I have done here but tweeked for a different time and a different location.
Last night we were a bit too busy to prepare. We had soccer, then small group and my wife and I finished the day with a quick viewing of Revenge of the Sith. I came away feeling more disappointed than before. The other movies all felt different than this one. I think I was expecting something else. Maybe part of what I wanted was to see Darth hunt down more of the Jedi. I think I just wanted more story, not for it to end where it did. I think I enjoyed the movie, but something feels off. Maybe it was as Ebert suggest and the actors were just a little flat plaing in front of a blue screen, but I hope that when I see it again sometime, that it will be more enjoyable. I will see it again sometime, even if that is just on DVD.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
More meetings
A big crazy meeting planned for tonight is stressing me out. Here we are preparing for our biggest and hopefully most productive vision meeting yet, and I am worried about food. I'm not actually doing anything about it, but I am worrying about it trying to figure something out that is minimal work, and everyone will eat.
What I should be doing is planning how to move from a discussion about ideas to organizing those ideas into concrete statements. I should be condensing and figuring out how to direct a group discussion instead of what kind of food can I cook up. Do I even need to cook something or are people expecting to bring a bag supper? Are they expecting to eat later? Other minsitry groups when they meet over meal time order pizza. Should we? Not everyonecan eat pizza in this group. How long does it take for a roast to thaw before you can cook it? How long does it take to cook?
Aaaaaahhh!
What I should be doing is planning how to move from a discussion about ideas to organizing those ideas into concrete statements. I should be condensing and figuring out how to direct a group discussion instead of what kind of food can I cook up. Do I even need to cook something or are people expecting to bring a bag supper? Are they expecting to eat later? Other minsitry groups when they meet over meal time order pizza. Should we? Not everyonecan eat pizza in this group. How long does it take for a roast to thaw before you can cook it? How long does it take to cook?
Aaaaaahhh!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Mondays aren't so bad
I think I used to dread Mondays, but the past couple of Mondays have gone quite well for me. I get to spend time with my wife since right now we both have that day off. I found that in the rhythm of my life Monday was not a good day for me to try to work.
I was reading an article written by a preacher and he talked about the price we had to pay for what we give on Sunday. I know that it is there, I often either crash on Sunday or Monday, but lately I have still been able to enjoy Mondays.
Maybe part of the answer is also the gym (which we did not do today). Working out gives some good natural drugs to the body. Maybee it is seeing my eldest son really enjoying himself at his swimming lessons. He loves the water.
Aftter all was said and done today, me and the boys went out to play soccer (to help my younger son get used to kicking the ball). Other kids kept coming and we created a big game, which at one point both boys left me to play on the jungle gym stuff, and I played with the neighbourhood kids. My boys came back to play later, and I think they had fun.
I was reading an article written by a preacher and he talked about the price we had to pay for what we give on Sunday. I know that it is there, I often either crash on Sunday or Monday, but lately I have still been able to enjoy Mondays.
Maybe part of the answer is also the gym (which we did not do today). Working out gives some good natural drugs to the body. Maybee it is seeing my eldest son really enjoying himself at his swimming lessons. He loves the water.
Aftter all was said and done today, me and the boys went out to play soccer (to help my younger son get used to kicking the ball). Other kids kept coming and we created a big game, which at one point both boys left me to play on the jungle gym stuff, and I played with the neighbourhood kids. My boys came back to play later, and I think they had fun.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Worn out
Well it has been a long weekend and not in a good way. It has been busy. Busy is not always bad, but this has had a fair bit of emotion involved in it. With help I led a funeral service planned by the family, based on the Church of England book of Common Prayer. The Scriptures were all in the King James Version, and the prayers from the book were also in King James vernacular. This is foreign ground to me, growing up with the NIV as the standard. I did learn John 3:16 originally from the King James, and I have said the Lord's Prayer that way, but most of my memory work and familiarity with the Bible is basd from the NIV.
In fact, when my wife decides to test me and ask me where to find a scripture, I have significantly more trouble finding if I am looking in a different translation, or even a different Bible than the one I currenlty use.
Today I taught my youth class and then preached as usual. The sermon was on the familiar story of Zacchaeus, and yet the more I studied it the more uncomfortable I was feeling about the kind of acceptance that it was teaching me. I tried to communicate a glimpse of this, but I am not sure that I really got across how uncomfortable this acceptance, this caring about people can really be.
Tomorrow is a day for resting and recovering (by going to the gym and going grocery shopping). Then the rest of the week is a rush to try and get things together so that I can leave for the weekend. I may even be preaching in Dauphin (poor TU and Ea, they go away on a short vacation and still have to listen to me).
In fact, when my wife decides to test me and ask me where to find a scripture, I have significantly more trouble finding if I am looking in a different translation, or even a different Bible than the one I currenlty use.
Today I taught my youth class and then preached as usual. The sermon was on the familiar story of Zacchaeus, and yet the more I studied it the more uncomfortable I was feeling about the kind of acceptance that it was teaching me. I tried to communicate a glimpse of this, but I am not sure that I really got across how uncomfortable this acceptance, this caring about people can really be.
Tomorrow is a day for resting and recovering (by going to the gym and going grocery shopping). Then the rest of the week is a rush to try and get things together so that I can leave for the weekend. I may even be preaching in Dauphin (poor TU and Ea, they go away on a short vacation and still have to listen to me).
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Coaching
It's a good thing that coaches are often given more than one game to see what they can do, because we did horribly. It was cute, but it was definitely a bad start. I lined up my team, they kicked the ball, then the other teams big player kicked and ran with it and scored. We did it again and so did he. And then once more for good luck. It happened that fast. Then the best player out there did not want to take over anymore. The game seemed pretty balanced except for that one guy.
My next strategy is to try to do some practice kicking the ball to each other. It is difficult to practice that when all the league lets us have is one ball, but we will try to find a way to do it. I don't want to get too complicated because I have to remember that for many of these kids this is their first time actually playing soccer.
If I was really concerned with having someone to score and dominate I would take my own son out to the field each day and work on ball control and kicking and those other little things that make a big difference. Then I could be one of those dads that is featured on the news (either the one like Tiger Woods' dad or some of these hockey dads that get kicked out of games). I am sure that would be fun!?!
Back to reality and the daily work. I guess nothing about this week is going to be routine through. I will be talking with a family and helping them prepare for the funeral. There is always the fear in this time of saying the wrong thing, or not communicating how much you empathize with them.
Have I posted on death yet? My wife read a book that compared our relationship with God to a dance (which is just wrong, I know). The last chapter was on death and spoke about how wrong it is, how it was not intended and so it is not natural and we can embrace our pain knowing that this is not part of God's plan, but instead a result of the fall that will eventually be stopped. We can also know that God hurts with our hurt, God mourns with us over this unnatural event.
My next strategy is to try to do some practice kicking the ball to each other. It is difficult to practice that when all the league lets us have is one ball, but we will try to find a way to do it. I don't want to get too complicated because I have to remember that for many of these kids this is their first time actually playing soccer.
If I was really concerned with having someone to score and dominate I would take my own son out to the field each day and work on ball control and kicking and those other little things that make a big difference. Then I could be one of those dads that is featured on the news (either the one like Tiger Woods' dad or some of these hockey dads that get kicked out of games). I am sure that would be fun!?!
Back to reality and the daily work. I guess nothing about this week is going to be routine through. I will be talking with a family and helping them prepare for the funeral. There is always the fear in this time of saying the wrong thing, or not communicating how much you empathize with them.
Have I posted on death yet? My wife read a book that compared our relationship with God to a dance (which is just wrong, I know). The last chapter was on death and spoke about how wrong it is, how it was not intended and so it is not natural and we can embrace our pain knowing that this is not part of God's plan, but instead a result of the fall that will eventually be stopped. We can also know that God hurts with our hurt, God mourns with us over this unnatural event.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Saddness and Grief
Last night my friend lost his father. Now we start the official mourning time, with plans for rememberance. Unofficially grieving has been hovering around for a while. Our prayers are with the family.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Millenium Matrix
I received an email a day ago from a guy named Rex Miller. Whenever an email shows up in my inbox from someone I don't know, I am immediately suspicious. Since there were no attachments I looked at the email and read an invitation to download his powerpoiont presentation that he gave at a Simulcast I attended at Redwood. His ideas were interesting and I had to think more about them. I guess I even blogged about it since he found me through my blog. If you go back to my January blogs you find one on the Simulcast and Rex has a comment and his website in the comment. You can go straight to his website by clicking on the link beside or on the title of this blog.
I am interested in a discussion on some of these ideas. The main idea Rex puts forth is that we are beyond post modern (post-post-modern?!?!) He looks at this through a mapping of some key ideas/values/forms and their perspectives on those ideas/values/forms.
Pre-modern relies on oral communication, there you find the concept of truth intricately tied to the messanger (Read Paul's defenses of himself). Modern relies on print communication, and in this view you find truth as abstract, logical, statements that can be dissected and proven. Post-modern then relies on broadcast for communication, like your tv. It doesn't matter (to a certain extent) who is receiving the news, it is still the same. The receiver does not impact the message, only receives it fast and from more sources. Because there are so many voices in broadcast, people pick and choose what they will listen to and what they will accept. In this truth then becomes experiencial, you can't tell me what I experience, what I know. Finally the current stage we are in Rex names after the form of communication, digital. It includes the instant of broadcast, but it is personalized. To find out about something we care about we look it up on the internet, we can tune into Big Brother all day on the internet instead of relying on the tv to bring us their slanted updates every couple of days. We can find a news story from across the world, but even better we can even email, or instant chat someone who is living through the event. Where in broadcast you could pick and choose which of the public stories to read, Digital you can interact with a person who is experiencing it, question, maybe even influence their actions in this crazy world, effecting the outcome of what would normally just be a news story. Digital is also interactive. Truth is found not in the abstract or in the individual, but it is also more than just my experience. Truth is found in community. My experience may be part of the truth, but as we share our lives together we see that truth is bigger than just me or you, but it is found in us.
I am interested in a discussion on some of these ideas. The main idea Rex puts forth is that we are beyond post modern (post-post-modern?!?!) He looks at this through a mapping of some key ideas/values/forms and their perspectives on those ideas/values/forms.
Pre-modern relies on oral communication, there you find the concept of truth intricately tied to the messanger (Read Paul's defenses of himself). Modern relies on print communication, and in this view you find truth as abstract, logical, statements that can be dissected and proven. Post-modern then relies on broadcast for communication, like your tv. It doesn't matter (to a certain extent) who is receiving the news, it is still the same. The receiver does not impact the message, only receives it fast and from more sources. Because there are so many voices in broadcast, people pick and choose what they will listen to and what they will accept. In this truth then becomes experiencial, you can't tell me what I experience, what I know. Finally the current stage we are in Rex names after the form of communication, digital. It includes the instant of broadcast, but it is personalized. To find out about something we care about we look it up on the internet, we can tune into Big Brother all day on the internet instead of relying on the tv to bring us their slanted updates every couple of days. We can find a news story from across the world, but even better we can even email, or instant chat someone who is living through the event. Where in broadcast you could pick and choose which of the public stories to read, Digital you can interact with a person who is experiencing it, question, maybe even influence their actions in this crazy world, effecting the outcome of what would normally just be a news story. Digital is also interactive. Truth is found not in the abstract or in the individual, but it is also more than just my experience. Truth is found in community. My experience may be part of the truth, but as we share our lives together we see that truth is bigger than just me or you, but it is found in us.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Blogging world
I have been looking at my tools for set up on this blog because there are some blogs I would like to mak available on the side of my blog. I would like to set up a section of our little group blogs that would consist of the different blogs from our church. For one thing it would save me time from having to go into the favorites folder. It would also increase our awareness of what each other is doing. Draw backs are that everyone who reads my blog could read theirs too. But that's probably not a big deal since either you know them already and so you might be reading their blog anyway, or you don't know them and their blog is just a faceless person to you, like all those people that Darrell sends me to read.
Connectivity is somehow a part of the vision that we are trying to accomplish at our church. That word though strikes me as an unfeeling expression of a feeling.
A vision thought that I shared on Sunday (for those who did not hear me) was taken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. You have to go to Greek school, but you can marry whoever you want. Just kidding, that's not it.
Miller is from the greek word Milo which is greek for apple. Our name, as many of you know is Porticolus, which is greek for Orange. We are different, our two families, apples and oranges, but in the end we are all fruit.
We may come from different places, and while we share many beliefs, we also disagree on many points, but in the end we are all a little fruity. My one friend has developed the slogan, "Creeps, wierdos and bums." I think that might scare more people than those who get it, but that is where the outskirts are. And aren't we all a little wierd?
Connectivity is somehow a part of the vision that we are trying to accomplish at our church. That word though strikes me as an unfeeling expression of a feeling.
A vision thought that I shared on Sunday (for those who did not hear me) was taken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. You have to go to Greek school, but you can marry whoever you want. Just kidding, that's not it.
Miller is from the greek word Milo which is greek for apple. Our name, as many of you know is Porticolus, which is greek for Orange. We are different, our two families, apples and oranges, but in the end we are all fruit.
We may come from different places, and while we share many beliefs, we also disagree on many points, but in the end we are all a little fruity. My one friend has developed the slogan, "Creeps, wierdos and bums." I think that might scare more people than those who get it, but that is where the outskirts are. And aren't we all a little wierd?
Monday, May 02, 2005
A good day with a sad occurance
First let me ask you to click on whatever icon appears with the title. It is a link to Real Live Preacher and he gives a wonderful little story and also a description of church. I think the article would make for an intersting discussion sometime.
Today my parents started their trek back to their home. It was sad for them to go. We all enjoyed having them here, and dad and I had a few opportunities to talk, but they always seemed too short and too few. After the boys left on the bus for school the rest of us went out for breakfast. After a nice visit over breaekfast they headed out, hoping to make it home in one day.
My wife and I went on with our day, going to the gym, doing the shopping (and picking up my motorcycle). I notice that I am in a pretty good mood, I am talking well with the others in the house and I feel more patient with my boys. All signs that this is basically a good day.
When we picked up the motorcycle (which cost way more than I expected), we also looked at the motorcycles they were selling there. The idea came up that if we sold my wife's bike we could by her one of these others ones. Any takers? Only a couple thousand...
Today my parents started their trek back to their home. It was sad for them to go. We all enjoyed having them here, and dad and I had a few opportunities to talk, but they always seemed too short and too few. After the boys left on the bus for school the rest of us went out for breakfast. After a nice visit over breaekfast they headed out, hoping to make it home in one day.
My wife and I went on with our day, going to the gym, doing the shopping (and picking up my motorcycle). I notice that I am in a pretty good mood, I am talking well with the others in the house and I feel more patient with my boys. All signs that this is basically a good day.
When we picked up the motorcycle (which cost way more than I expected), we also looked at the motorcycles they were selling there. The idea came up that if we sold my wife's bike we could by her one of these others ones. Any takers? Only a couple thousand...
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Understanding Mood
I don't really understand my mood swings. On Thursday I had a great day, a day that was all about me. But as it ended and Friday and Saturday came around I got really depressed. I was really very low and wondering how on earth I would be ready to preach on Sunday. Despite how low I was then, by Sunday I was getting better, to where I am this evening feeling rather even and while not on the upswing, I don't have my "emotional waves".
My dad was talking to me about the loneliness and isolation of being so far from other churches and people that are familiar, being unable to gather with other leaders (preachers) who are from the same movement. That might relate some to the difficulty and the sense of alone. There is a definite sense of feeling stuck, or trapped. I do not feel confident in my ability to be able to just go and find a job. I have always been able to do that in the past, but when looking for a supplimental income, I was not able to get any of those jobs.
One of the issues I have to deal with is to follow up on a request to return to my 30 hour work week. I have submitted a proposal a while ago, but I would really like to work through a process of defining my job and then creating the tasks that would fall into that role. Doing this would significantly impact my ability to be clear and focused on the important, not mixing what should be a priority with the stuff that should be done later. Lucky for me everyone has ideas of what the role of the preacher is in a congregation, so there is no shortage of possibilities, only shortage of focus and skills.
My dad was talking to me about the loneliness and isolation of being so far from other churches and people that are familiar, being unable to gather with other leaders (preachers) who are from the same movement. That might relate some to the difficulty and the sense of alone. There is a definite sense of feeling stuck, or trapped. I do not feel confident in my ability to be able to just go and find a job. I have always been able to do that in the past, but when looking for a supplimental income, I was not able to get any of those jobs.
One of the issues I have to deal with is to follow up on a request to return to my 30 hour work week. I have submitted a proposal a while ago, but I would really like to work through a process of defining my job and then creating the tasks that would fall into that role. Doing this would significantly impact my ability to be clear and focused on the important, not mixing what should be a priority with the stuff that should be done later. Lucky for me everyone has ideas of what the role of the preacher is in a congregation, so there is no shortage of possibilities, only shortage of focus and skills.
