Sunday, May 01, 2005
Understanding Mood
I don't really understand my mood swings. On Thursday I had a great day, a day that was all about me. But as it ended and Friday and Saturday came around I got really depressed. I was really very low and wondering how on earth I would be ready to preach on Sunday. Despite how low I was then, by Sunday I was getting better, to where I am this evening feeling rather even and while not on the upswing, I don't have my "emotional waves".
My dad was talking to me about the loneliness and isolation of being so far from other churches and people that are familiar, being unable to gather with other leaders (preachers) who are from the same movement. That might relate some to the difficulty and the sense of alone. There is a definite sense of feeling stuck, or trapped. I do not feel confident in my ability to be able to just go and find a job. I have always been able to do that in the past, but when looking for a supplimental income, I was not able to get any of those jobs.
One of the issues I have to deal with is to follow up on a request to return to my 30 hour work week. I have submitted a proposal a while ago, but I would really like to work through a process of defining my job and then creating the tasks that would fall into that role. Doing this would significantly impact my ability to be clear and focused on the important, not mixing what should be a priority with the stuff that should be done later. Lucky for me everyone has ideas of what the role of the preacher is in a congregation, so there is no shortage of possibilities, only shortage of focus and skills.
My dad was talking to me about the loneliness and isolation of being so far from other churches and people that are familiar, being unable to gather with other leaders (preachers) who are from the same movement. That might relate some to the difficulty and the sense of alone. There is a definite sense of feeling stuck, or trapped. I do not feel confident in my ability to be able to just go and find a job. I have always been able to do that in the past, but when looking for a supplimental income, I was not able to get any of those jobs.
One of the issues I have to deal with is to follow up on a request to return to my 30 hour work week. I have submitted a proposal a while ago, but I would really like to work through a process of defining my job and then creating the tasks that would fall into that role. Doing this would significantly impact my ability to be clear and focused on the important, not mixing what should be a priority with the stuff that should be done later. Lucky for me everyone has ideas of what the role of the preacher is in a congregation, so there is no shortage of possibilities, only shortage of focus and skills.
// posted by Eric @ 11:47 PM 
