Eric Bailey's

I hesitate to write things that I don't talk about and since I don't talk about much, there often is not much to write about. On Monday my class which could be best described as "The journey of Adulthood" looked at attachment theory. I missed the first bit of class because they had to start early but I did some reading (I'll get to the other reading in a moment) and in class at the point I was there we bashed some of the assumptions of attachment theory. One such bash was it has no place in it for my older son. Then on Tuesday (again readings relating to attachment) in my child and adolescent in therapy class we looked at attachment. The teacher talked some, but then shared some visual tools she uses, and gave us the website to find these tools. Then she showed us a video. I was doing well until at the end of class she shared her own reaction to one of the three families being treated through the lens of attachment theory. She delved a little into why she reacted so strongly to one aspect of the film. Then she asked us to consider what we reacted to and think about why. I went from comfortably cruising through another class to lost in thought. I got my stuff together and as I was helping take down the room I used the opportunity presented to share with the teacher only that her sharing made me think about what I reacted to and I realized it was my garbage, not the parents failings I was reacting too. I did not delve deeply into it. She inquired if I had someone to talk to about this, and I answered that I did, but it might take a couple days to get together with how hectic my schedule is.

I saw in this video parents dealing with 1-3 year olds who would not sleep for them. I saw moms and dads entering the babies room, laying the baby back down in it's crib and setting the stuffed animals around the baby. All I wanted the parents to do was the pick up the baby, if not that, hug it in the crib. Hug the baby, rub it's back, sooth it a little. They did not do this action. I wondered if they were so far past that, or if they had been coached by someone to not do that, but no explanation was given. Instead the treatment focused on the parents learning to enjoy this child in play activities and learn to read the child's actions to understand what the child is communicating. This led to less frustration and allowed both the parents and the children to be more settled at bed time and ready for sleep.

MY baggage related to holding and being held. I feel that babies need this more than then may even think but it is my baggage that I might not notice even when trying to teach others how to parent. I will meet with my friend tomorrow to talk about this and I will tell the family stories. Sadly the one I know is told in a funny way and makes light of what may have been very difficult for both a mother and a child. I wonder sometimes about what it was like in my younger years raising a child who was ill? Was I always the ill child or was that something that occurred only at a few stages in life? I am becoming convinced that my asthma and the results were a trauma that cannot be helped but has left me somethings to work out. I suspect that, no matter what Eric may say, he needs a hug, a comforting hand on the shoulder, or some other physical gesture that communicates love, comfort, or support. Sometimes these classes are not easy because they talk about me more than about others.

Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighbourhood.
Hop a flight to Miami Beach or to Hollywood.
I'm taking a greyhound on the Hudson river line
I'm in a New York state of mind ...

Well, I gues this is just York (Toronto), but that is where we went for the weekend. Not well planned, not planned much ahead of time, but we threw together a get away. I took a day off work (I really appreciate that for some strange reason) and rushed to Winnipeg to catch a flight to meet up with Erica in the big city. It has been fun to not be on any kind of a schedule, but our own.

We saw two movies on Friday and had dinner with Neil and Darcy. Eamon in the morning was a disturbing little movie about a child who is in control of his family. It was interesting to examin the different behaviors of the mother and the father and the child. In the evening we went to a Gala showing of Max Manus, a World War II hero. I am not big on war movies, but this one was really good. The ending of it spoke to some of the things I have been studying in relation to post-traumatic stress syndrome. Dinner with Neil and Darcy was good as they told us about the different wedding plans that they were making. Keeping the wedding casual, but still a wedding.

Saturday we went to the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) and saw the Dead Sea Scrolls. That was a great experience for me. We then talked about what other displays in the museum we would like to see and decided to head elsewhere. We found a line up for viewing another movie but we did not make it in to that showing so we had some lunch, did some shopping (did not buy much) and then headed back to the hotel for the rest of the day.

Tonight we will fly back to Winnipeg and then drive to Kenora. We will get in late and we both have to work in the morning. I also have to drive to Winnipeg on Monday and Tuesday night for my classes for this year. Back to back classes means I have to be on top of my homework and readings for these classes or I have trouble getting the assignments finished. One class has a weekly assignment based on the reading that I have to do. It is not done yet... I will try to get these things done but the teacher just email one of the readings today so I'm not sure that it will be done for Tuesday. I like vacations, but sometimes it is hard to catch up afterwards.

So today I was finally offered a job. It turns out that this job (which I did apply for this time) was also a job that I had last year. I am doing 1-on-1 work with a child in a school. It is good work and it allows me to get to my classes in Winnipeg as well. In January there will be a problem if the job is still in existence but we will tackle that problem when the time comes.

I am going to start two classes next week. I ordered the texts for the books through the university bookstore over the internet but have not heard anything about my order since that day when I received an email letting me know that they received the order. It has now been two weeks and I do not have my books. I tried calling but just left a message that has not yet been returned. I guess I will be starting without my books. I cannot just go get them because I do not arrive in Winnipeg when the bookstore is open. Hopefully they will work with me again and help me get my books.

Those are some of the stresses that are slowly eating at me.

I have been getting small glimpses of a good ride here and there. I take my bike into town to run errands or I run to the store near by pick up a couple things and then take the long way home (on the highway). I would still like to do a read ride, but I think I'm running out of time this year.

My bike is very similar to the one in the picture but mine has white fairing and saddle bags and the bike itself is black.

Haaken told me this morning that the year is almost over. It is near the end of August and after that comes September, October, November and then December ... he seems to have a point. I had another job interview yesterday. I like the description of the job and I like the excitement of starting something new. The job itself is a new venture for the organization and so that too would be exciting. Unfortunately with all those positives I am definitely getting my hopes up about this job. I will know sometime near the end of the week.

I also have two leads on jobs in schools as an EA. One is the job I had last year (they are going through the whole application process right now) and another possibility that is at the high school. It would be fun to be at the same school as Haaken again even though he has now moved schools. That would also mean that Haaken, Liam, and I would be going to the same area in the mornings since Liam's school is right near the high school (high school starts in grade 7 for the separate school system here). Eventually Erica's office should be moving to that same campus and that would put everyone into that same area. We could all ride together (on the bus?!?!?).

I am registered for two classes this fall in Winnipeg and two classes in the Winter term as well. I am first on the wait list for another class in the winter term, one that I need for my certificate and for my degree. The two classes I take first are Health and Aging, and Children and Adolescence. Similar to classes I took in my undergrad degree. In the second term I take the course that is required to start the practicum courses. The other class I am registered for takes place on a couple of weekends so it does not interfere with any weekday jobs.

As the summer closes out and I get ready to go back to work of some kind, I'll continue to hope for work that I will enjoy and that I can plan around my classes.

Today is my mother's 75th birthday. We planned to have a surprise birthday for her by having all of us kids show up by the 2nd. As it turns out it will not be a surprise. I was hoping that at the least she would be surprised to see my older brother Neil. He arrived before me. We will arrive today after my wife attends a meeting in Vancouver.

I am contemplating different ideas for my own work for this fall. I might have a job available through the school board again. Pastor Allan is checking into what kind of coverage might be available through the church for me to start a counseling ministry. Then there is other available jobs as they come up. I need to decide soon though because I could get an interview with the school board when I return. I haven't heard from them yet so maybe I don't short list for their jobs yet. I still could receive a job offer to do the same job as last year but that would not be until closer to the fall. It is not a fun job but it is also not a terrible job. I am not sure how I would work some flexibility into that job come January because one of my classes in Jan would start at 4 instead of at 6.

I am registering for 2 classes for this fall (health and aging & child and adolescence). I have taken clases focused on these topics when I was taking my undergrad so I should have extra resources and should be good for these two. I do know that they require a lot of reading. In the winter term I plan to take Self in the Family Lab and Family Therapy Research Methods. The final term I know I will take Couple Therapy. With these courses I will be finished my Theory Certificate and only one or two courses short of the next certificate (one of which is the first practicum course). That leaves some practicum and three other credits to finish the Masters. Some days it feels so far away that I don't know if I can handle the wait.

The NHL should hang their heads in disgust after Vancouver was eliminated tonight because this was one of the worst cases of refereeing I have seen. With the "new rules" that they have preacher for the past while being thrown out the window except for a couple of times (one interference call against Vancouver and one against Chicago). It was a mockery of hockey to see the cheap shots, the high sticks and yes a tonne of interference prevent Vancouver from chasing the puck in the attacking zone. It was horrible and I do not think that these refs should be paid by anyone except maybe Chicago. What a way to decide a series and deliver the knock-out punch to Canada's last team. At the end of the game with the Canucks pressing a Vancouver player gets in behind a defenceman and gets slashed at just as happened to Vancouver earlier in the game but suddenly no call! This game was decided before the puck was ever dropped. The worst of it all is that the Chicago team thinks they accomplished something, they think they deserve something for cheating and getting away with it. If the game was like the previous one I would have just glumly slipped into my little depression saying I had bad luck with players falling at the wrong time, but no this was a poorly ref-ed game. It's too bad that the NHL seems to want to go back to the clutch and grab hockey of the past ("put the whistle away and let them play" - is code for not calling penalties when players break the rules). I'm not sure yet if I will be able to watch much hockey after seeing this game and being broken again. Especially without something competitive to play and use up this anger that builds when I watch clutch and grab, hack and slash hockey.