Friday, November 18, 2005
Church & Singles
I was Reading Mike Cope's Blog and he wrote about singles in church and issues surrounding that. The blog was so interesting that I thought I would post it (so no one would have to go all over the internet to find it) and hope to have a discussion.
Mike writes:
What's it like to be a single adult in church? So much of what we do is family-centered: family retreats, family encampments, family devotionals, etc. Are we doing a good job of communicating that after baptism the first family is the body of Christ? Is it the best idea to have singles classes or would it be better to integrate people so that relationships are formed?
From Lauren Winner:
"There is a trend in churches today to segregate people into demographic groups. Single twenties and thirties in one Sunday-school class, families with small children in another, empty-nesters in a third, sernior citizens down the hall, and so forth. Indeed, many churches have 'dealt with singleness' by starting singles' groups or singles' Bible studies, and hiring associate ministers who are charged with the task of ministering to single Christians.
"I see the appeal of such groups, but I am cautious about them. Perhaps the most robust expression of Christian community comes when we connect people of all demographics, people who might not meet each other if left to their own devices--toddlers and senior citizens and married couples and single professionals and empty nesters. This may cut against the grain of the organizational flowcharts that have become de rigueur in so many churches, separating parishioners into market groups (though the intentional fostering of relationships across demographic lines does not necessarily preclude a thriving Bible study for single parishioners, or a young mothers' prayer group). I have never joined a church with a singles' group, not because I think they are horrible or suffocating, but because church has always been one of the very few places where I can meet and know people who are not superficially like myself--it is only in church that I get to know kindergartners, and elderly people, and young families. . . .
"One of the best ways Christian communities can support chastity is to ensure that married people and single folks are in relationship with one another. Fostering relationships between married and single means not assuming that 'couple' is the basic unity of Christian identity. It means asking the single person not only who are you dating? but how is God calling you to be faithful now as you are? It means making sure you have an odd number of chairs at your dinner parties."
Mike writes:
What's it like to be a single adult in church? So much of what we do is family-centered: family retreats, family encampments, family devotionals, etc. Are we doing a good job of communicating that after baptism the first family is the body of Christ? Is it the best idea to have singles classes or would it be better to integrate people so that relationships are formed?
From Lauren Winner:
"There is a trend in churches today to segregate people into demographic groups. Single twenties and thirties in one Sunday-school class, families with small children in another, empty-nesters in a third, sernior citizens down the hall, and so forth. Indeed, many churches have 'dealt with singleness' by starting singles' groups or singles' Bible studies, and hiring associate ministers who are charged with the task of ministering to single Christians.
"I see the appeal of such groups, but I am cautious about them. Perhaps the most robust expression of Christian community comes when we connect people of all demographics, people who might not meet each other if left to their own devices--toddlers and senior citizens and married couples and single professionals and empty nesters. This may cut against the grain of the organizational flowcharts that have become de rigueur in so many churches, separating parishioners into market groups (though the intentional fostering of relationships across demographic lines does not necessarily preclude a thriving Bible study for single parishioners, or a young mothers' prayer group). I have never joined a church with a singles' group, not because I think they are horrible or suffocating, but because church has always been one of the very few places where I can meet and know people who are not superficially like myself--it is only in church that I get to know kindergartners, and elderly people, and young families. . . .
"One of the best ways Christian communities can support chastity is to ensure that married people and single folks are in relationship with one another. Fostering relationships between married and single means not assuming that 'couple' is the basic unity of Christian identity. It means asking the single person not only who are you dating? but how is God calling you to be faithful now as you are? It means making sure you have an odd number of chairs at your dinner parties."
// posted by Eric @ 10:19 AM 
