Sunday, October 23, 2005
Going Down
It is about time for a head long dive into a bit of a depression that no one will believe can really happen. I can feel it, but no one seems to have really noticed it.
Today we lost our football game. Next Saturday was to be the finals where I was sure we were heading. I was not sure that we could win but I was sure that we would get there. Now I will be there as the paid backjudge for the game. I had a big game making some big plays including a one-handed catch that I ran in for a touchdown (I did not have to run very far on that one), but I also had a number of drops. It was terrible, it could have been extremely disheartening if I did not have so many catches in the game. The quarterback this week seemed to depend on me some and I felt like the guy who was covering was not good enough and that I could beat him all night. They still won.
Football is over, it is over in a tragic way, and there is a lot of uncertainty about the existance of the next season (either indoor which is unlikely to happen or outdoor next fall which has some definite question marks). So I made too many mistakes and we lost. I suppose that a lot of things can be pointed out as the cause for our loss but when it comes down to it, I made those plays in the indoor, I make those catches usually. I didn't make those catches today.
I am sad. If you are still reading you are probably not believing it, but I really do feel sad. I'm not sure what it will take to come out of this, but I do know that I am sad right now.
Today we lost our football game. Next Saturday was to be the finals where I was sure we were heading. I was not sure that we could win but I was sure that we would get there. Now I will be there as the paid backjudge for the game. I had a big game making some big plays including a one-handed catch that I ran in for a touchdown (I did not have to run very far on that one), but I also had a number of drops. It was terrible, it could have been extremely disheartening if I did not have so many catches in the game. The quarterback this week seemed to depend on me some and I felt like the guy who was covering was not good enough and that I could beat him all night. They still won.
Football is over, it is over in a tragic way, and there is a lot of uncertainty about the existance of the next season (either indoor which is unlikely to happen or outdoor next fall which has some definite question marks). So I made too many mistakes and we lost. I suppose that a lot of things can be pointed out as the cause for our loss but when it comes down to it, I made those plays in the indoor, I make those catches usually. I didn't make those catches today.
I am sad. If you are still reading you are probably not believing it, but I really do feel sad. I'm not sure what it will take to come out of this, but I do know that I am sad right now.
// posted by Eric @ 9:51 PM 
Comments:
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Your performance is not up to your ideal, your talk with the drunk QB didn't go the way you wished and this is sending you down?
Look at what you have done ... at where you have come from and the obstacles you have overcome. Look at your family. Look at your life with GOD.
What is a good yardstick? How can you tell that you are worth something? what is the most that someone would trade/pay for you?
What are you worth? GOD gave everything he had.
You want to make a play, to measure up to a goal ... measure up to GOD's plan for you. Here's the play ... he sent you in to play now run it and get around this big emotional blocker - use your legs and runn for the goal ... he won't miss you and you can't drop it all you have to do is get in position and run for your life. Erica's life. Haaken's life. Liam's life.
People need you and they need you on top of your game.
I'm probably not helping but ... the strike is over and I have to go back to work tomorrow ... guess that makes me a grump.
A
Look at what you have done ... at where you have come from and the obstacles you have overcome. Look at your family. Look at your life with GOD.
What is a good yardstick? How can you tell that you are worth something? what is the most that someone would trade/pay for you?
What are you worth? GOD gave everything he had.
You want to make a play, to measure up to a goal ... measure up to GOD's plan for you. Here's the play ... he sent you in to play now run it and get around this big emotional blocker - use your legs and runn for the goal ... he won't miss you and you can't drop it all you have to do is get in position and run for your life. Erica's life. Haaken's life. Liam's life.
People need you and they need you on top of your game.
I'm probably not helping but ... the strike is over and I have to go back to work tomorrow ... guess that makes me a grump.
A
Looking this over a few hours of sleep later .. I missed a couple of points.
I love you and I am impressed by and proud of you. You have made choices and followed through with them to degrees I have not / cannot myself. I was always healthy and athletic now I am not capable of playing on a team like yours. You started out life fragile and weak due to athsma and have gone on to push the envelope and excel in the sports you love. You know the games and play them to a depth I never went ... I run and catch the ball and follow or make plays but I don't read the plays and the other players like you can.
You finished a degree and study on. I barely made it past 2nd year.
You are studying advanced driving - I had always wanted to get all my licenses (as I had always wanted to get all my degrees and be Tom Swift) I still have only the licenses I had when I was 18.
soooo
From my point of view you have come from behind and are in the last few yards, leading the course and someone has called out some one has started heckling and now you are stumbling.
Ignore that voice and hear mine and others cheering.
Go Run you're on course and in the lead!!
Go!
I love you and I am impressed by and proud of you. You have made choices and followed through with them to degrees I have not / cannot myself. I was always healthy and athletic now I am not capable of playing on a team like yours. You started out life fragile and weak due to athsma and have gone on to push the envelope and excel in the sports you love. You know the games and play them to a depth I never went ... I run and catch the ball and follow or make plays but I don't read the plays and the other players like you can.
You finished a degree and study on. I barely made it past 2nd year.
You are studying advanced driving - I had always wanted to get all my licenses (as I had always wanted to get all my degrees and be Tom Swift) I still have only the licenses I had when I was 18.
soooo
From my point of view you have come from behind and are in the last few yards, leading the course and someone has called out some one has started heckling and now you are stumbling.
Ignore that voice and hear mine and others cheering.
Go Run you're on course and in the lead!!
Go!
Eric,
As you have read my blog you have seen my downs. All I can say is that I know what it is to feel the down coming on and I know what it is to feel sad...the only thing I have learned to do is ride the wave and think that feeling sad perhaps means that you are somehow particpating in the pain that exsits in the world, that maybe we feel pain for other people, events that occured even before we were born. The colletive sad if you will. It's something I have been toying with latley...I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
As you have read my blog you have seen my downs. All I can say is that I know what it is to feel the down coming on and I know what it is to feel sad...the only thing I have learned to do is ride the wave and think that feeling sad perhaps means that you are somehow particpating in the pain that exsits in the world, that maybe we feel pain for other people, events that occured even before we were born. The colletive sad if you will. It's something I have been toying with latley...I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
I usually eat a family sized chocolate bar - that seems to help, temporarily anyway!
I don't know if this will bring you up, but I seriously thought of something else when I read your title... ;-)
Too bad you have hockey tonite!
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I don't know if this will bring you up, but I seriously thought of something else when I read your title... ;-)
Too bad you have hockey tonite!
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