Eric Bailey's

I'm not very happy right now. It seems like to do the things I am supposed to be doing I need to be passionate about them, but right now I have trouble being passionate. I care about doing this right, but if I don't lead, it won't happen. If I don't care about this, it won't go well. I care about leading well, but I am struck with waves of just wanting out, of wanting to go get the degree I desire and change professions. Unfortunately I don't see anyway to do that conveniently, so I keep putting it on hold.

How do you find passion, find a contentment enough to lead, when you don't feel up to it. It is not that I never feel up to leading, or working on vision, but rather I have these waves that wash over me where I don't think I can do this, where I doubt that I am the one who can really make these changes.

I also feel like I am in the position where I am the only one positioned to lead through this vision process, and if I drop it, it disappears along with the current hope that we are experiencing that we are on the verge of turning around the death count, that we are breathing new life back into a church that has been dying.

When you are on a river or a small lake, the waves that you experience come and wash over you once in a while. They make shake you, but they also pass. In the ocean waves wash over you, but before you get to recover, before you get set again the next wave hits, and again, and again. the waves continue to wash over you, knocking you around until you wonder why you are holding on, why you continue to try to keep your head above the water. Waves.