Wednesday, November 17, 2004
The Last To Know
I really like Blue Rodeo stuff.
My meeting is over. I have finished what I need to finish. There will be more talking later, but I am finished the "have to"s for now. Mostly I am feeling more relaxed, but some of our social situations does leave me a little on edge. I am actually starting to think again about things like community involvement, For the Love of Reading, swimming with Liam's class and all that kind of thing.
Some parts of ministry I feel ready to do, to take an active part in, but many other parts I am not sure that I am ready. But I need to continue. I have considered quitting, I have considered the leave of absense idea, none of these work for our family. I need to keep walking in this work, I don't really have any other direction I can go.
Boy, would I really like to go back to school now. It feels so much like that option is just not available for me. Each of the ideas for this that we have tried just never quite come together, they just do not work into my life. Each time I push the idea back, I start to think that I need to accept my life the way it is and stop hoping for this other. I'm probably not ready for school right now anyway. I know that if I was going to school in Winnipeg and riding the bus back and forth on the weekend during this time I would have crashed emotionally or just plain freaked out. Maybe next year they will have the course set up so that I can take it, or maybe I need to look into different kind of schooling (or maybe I just need to stop looking at school and accept life as I have it).
My meeting is over. I have finished what I need to finish. There will be more talking later, but I am finished the "have to"s for now. Mostly I am feeling more relaxed, but some of our social situations does leave me a little on edge. I am actually starting to think again about things like community involvement, For the Love of Reading, swimming with Liam's class and all that kind of thing.
Some parts of ministry I feel ready to do, to take an active part in, but many other parts I am not sure that I am ready. But I need to continue. I have considered quitting, I have considered the leave of absense idea, none of these work for our family. I need to keep walking in this work, I don't really have any other direction I can go.
Boy, would I really like to go back to school now. It feels so much like that option is just not available for me. Each of the ideas for this that we have tried just never quite come together, they just do not work into my life. Each time I push the idea back, I start to think that I need to accept my life the way it is and stop hoping for this other. I'm probably not ready for school right now anyway. I know that if I was going to school in Winnipeg and riding the bus back and forth on the weekend during this time I would have crashed emotionally or just plain freaked out. Maybe next year they will have the course set up so that I can take it, or maybe I need to look into different kind of schooling (or maybe I just need to stop looking at school and accept life as I have it).
// posted by Eric @ 9:16 AM 
