Eric Bailey's

Having never seen the movie, I thought it would be a great obscure reference.

If you look at the posting time you can see that I did not get to my computer very quickly today (this is one of the first things I do). I have basically been doing something since I got up, and that means that I have not had time to sit and thinks and ponder life. So my life is probably not much like an apocalypse right now, but maybe that is waiting, maybe not.

The last two days I got have make my littlest boy happy. He has been asking to have a "just stay home" day. Now he has had two. He has school and babysitting at the beginning of the week, but spends the last two days at home with me. Today I have a happy littlest boy.

I am still questioning my leadership and whether I can lead here right now. It is a difficult place to be, trying to go somewhere, but looking back to see if anyone is following. Especially difficult when your confidence is not topped up. Not that I have been a particularly confident guy to begin with, but I have serious questions about whether anyone is ready to follow me. Since we are doing some new directions and such in church I guess I will find out if people are hearing me and following the direction I am trying to go in.

While I am feeling somewhat more positive today (part of the nature of having had some good talks with people today and getting done some of the special tasks around the house like Christmas lights), I am not out of the darkness, but I definitely feel more positive. One person noted the kinds of Psalm that appeals to me right now is the Psalm that talks about how difficult life is, but still I will hope in the Lord. That is about where I still feel, even on such positive days like this, where life seems to be moving forward. I hope this is a sign of days to come, I think things will be getting better. I think I now understand one of the things that helps is community. People who you can talk to and can spend time with you. Even when it is not focusing on my problems, community, visiting with people, talking about life, talking about spirituality, talking about each other, with each other just seems to help the world have colour and shape again. Community, I think I want to stay there.